Thursday, January 21, 2010
Challenge, Day 3
What happens if you just sit in the yard? Nothing, I guess. So I sit, with my legs crossed, and I pick a stem off a weed. I look at the weed, and slice it in half with my fingernail. I notice the tiny perfect pale baby weed shooting from the mature one. I think about it a minute and realize that I just killed it. I hunch forward like some kind of odd thing, sinking into thoughts and stories and dialogs, just anywhere my mind wanders. What if I sit there for a half hour? Did I just throw a half-hour down the drain? I’ve got nothing to show for it. I didn’t type up a paper or make flash cards, I didn’t impart any knowledge to any other human being, I didn’t add in any way to the workforce or do anything in fact except sit and think. I didn’t even think about anything important really. I just thought, and sat. Wow, should I be shot? A despised voice: “You-oo didn’t do anything! Then your who-ole schedule is tipping on the edge of shot. You didn’t use that half-hour, you just made it disappear.” I dislike to a sour degree that small voice. When it is obnoxious, that is. It does help at times to keep me on track when there are truly important things to get done. But it is oh-so-ready to scratch my eyes out over one little miss-spent (in its own opinion) half hour.