Do I lie to myself? Do I learn to adopt and nourish lies about myself or my situation? Yes. And then I languish in the feelings of frustration which follow. There is a chapter in the Psalms which begins by asking who can abide in God's presence. It talks about a person of integrity, who loves God with his whole heart, and because of this, the nature of God Himself flows out through this man's life. There is one sentence which has particularly grabbed me: "[he] speaks the truth in his heart...". I have always taken this to mean that I must be honest with myself and with God - excuses for sin or denial that I am in sin (if I am and don't want to face it), or dishonesty of that nature. I have recently begun to consider another way of having dishonesty in my heart. This happens when I indulge in self-pity. It happens when I feel rejected, or sometimes when I feel envious. The lie is that others don't find me likeable. Further, the lie may say that I am better than someone. These two lies often approach me hand in hand, even though they sound like opposites. I begin to wonder why others should be accepted and liked where I feel shut out, even though I consider myself superior to them in some way. The truth is that I am neither better than any person on this planet, nor am I disliked by everyone. I am not alone, I am not superior and certainly not worthless. These are lies. And the very knowledge of that helps me to begin the battle of crushing them.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4